


Behind Closed Doors

by StackerPentecost



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Oral Sex, Pansexual Negan (Walking Dead), Past Child Abuse, Past Homophobic Abuse, Post-Season/Series 08 Finale, This is the epitome of a rarepair, Top Negan (Walking Dead), but i dont care i like it FIGHT ME
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 00:36:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15158588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StackerPentecost/pseuds/StackerPentecost
Summary: The war is over and Negan is left alone in the Hilltop's infirmary to heal before he is put into prison. His only visitor is Siddiq, the Hilltop's new designated doctor. It doesn't take long for Negan to grow bored and increasingly sex starved and it isn't surprising when his attentions turn to the only person that he sees everyday. But how will Siddiq react to his advances?





	Behind Closed Doors

**Author's Note:**

> Hey look, I'm not dead. I know I haven't posted in a super long time and I apologize. I have in no way forgotten or plan to abandon the stories I have started. I do plan on returning to them. It's just been a rough couple of months and it's been hard for me to want to right. So I'm gonna try and finish up the couple of new ideas I started and then go back to my other stuff. Again, I apologize.
> 
> I also hope somebody enjoys the idea of this pairing as much as I do. I don't know how I managed to come up with this idea but ever since it hasn't left me alone. There isn't even an established pairing tag for this ship so I guess I'm the first to ever think about this. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing. I supposed we'll find out. I also edited as best I could but there may be something I missed.

He honestly tried to keep track of the days but when you're not allowed to go outside, that becomes increasingly difficult. He is only allowed up to use the bathroom and to eat, otherwise his life consists of being restrained to a bed and not much else. His throat doesn't hurt near as much as it did initially, but according to Siddiq, he's still healing, and he should refrain from trying to speak too loudly, not that he talks much at all.

Still, all this silence is beginning to drive him up a wall. Spending so much time stuck inside his own head with his thoughts is becoming more than he can handle.

His only relief is Siddiq. He's the only person that ever comes around. Granted, it is his job, he's the one looking after Negan's injuries and making sure that he's not going to die. But he must have other obligations that need attending as he doesn't spend all his time here. Negan can't help but wonder why Rick himself isn't visiting, or even Michonne. He figured they'd be determined to watch him like a hawk. But it's a reasonable assumption that the building he's in is guarded because Siddiq never opens the door himself, it always closes after him and when he needs to leave, he knocks, making Negan think someone has locked him in from the outside.

But, until now, Negan's pride has kept him from really speaking to Siddiq. The other man talks to him, talks about his condition, about some of the things going on outside, though not enough to give Negan a detailed picture. Sometimes he even talks about himself, about something from his childhood or his brief time as a medical resident before the apocalypse. It's kind of nice, to focus on something other than himself for a few moments. But until now, he's barely responded with anything besides the occasionally noncommittal grunt.

Maybe it's time that changed. After all, Negan is well aware of the fate that lies ahead of him. Might as well enjoy what little he has to left to enjoy while he still can.

Another morning dawned and the door opened as usual. Siddiq appeared, right on time as always. He was smiling, which is also quite normal. In hand he held his medical bag along with Negan's breakfast for the day. It's a simple plate of eggs and potatoes.

"Do-Do you make it yourself?" His voice is soft, both from disuse and injury.

Siddiq stopped and blinked at him, setting the plate and his bag down on a table that also held several boxes of gauze. It was Negan's guess that the building he was being held in had originally been the infirmary but that the actual one had since been moved elsewhere because of his presence.

"Make what myself?"

Negan cleared his throat, testing out what it felt like to speak an octave louder. "The food."

"Oh. Yes, I do actually. They originally didn't want to feed you much at all but since I volunteered to make everything myself, they don't worry about it anymore."

It's unsurprising that most of the people in the Hilltop want him to starve. But it is surprising that Siddiq cared enough to make sure that he got three decent meals a day.

Negan then surprised himself by saying, "Thank you."

Siddiq raised an eyebrow but nodded. "You're welcome." He quietly moved to undo Negan's bindings, first the handcuffs at the top of the bed and then the zip ties at the bottom. Negan immediately rubbed his wrists and ankles before slowly sitting up in bed. Siddiq politely handed him the plate of food before wandering off to the other side of the room. He busied himself with various meaningless tasks as Negan ate, straightening and taking stock of the supplies.

The food was always good. It was simple as can be and Negan wasn't sure how it managed to be as good as it was, but it was one of the few pleasures he had in this place, so he took his time spearing and chewing each bite. Now that he knew Siddiq made the food himself, he pondered that, wondering if the kid did something to make the food more palatable. In the end, going with his recent decision to speak to Siddiq more, he decided to inquire about this.

"Were you a good cook before all this?" He wondered, swallowing a piece of mashed potato.

Siddiq glanced up in surprise. This was already more than Negan usually said on a daily basis. He seemed to contemplate this before answering.

"I wouldn't say that. It was my mother who did all the cooking, especially for the Iftar."

Negan blinked and stopped mid-chew, "The what now?"

Siddiq chuckled. "The iftar. It's the meal Muslims eat after a day of fasting during Ramadan."

Negan nodded slowly. "Right. I uh, sorry, if I come across as an ignorant asshole, but I'm really not familiar with all that. Don't get me wrong, every idiot on this god forsaken shithole of a planet can believe what they want, I just don't know anything about your religion."

Siddiq turned toward him. "Don't worry about it. Most people before everything didn't know much about it either. And sadly, some people had a problem with it."

Negan let out a huff, stuffing a piece of egg into his mouth before replying, "That's bullshit, pissing on another person's beliefs. I was as proud to be an American as any other son of a bitch but I never understood that. You wanna attack somebody, fucking piss on somebody with shitty character, not for who they happen to believe rules the universe."

Siddiq was once again surprised. He never expected Negan to be the understanding type in any sort of matter. Nonetheless, it was a nice surprise.

"Mother loved cooking any time of the year, but especially during Ramadan, though it's difficult to spend a day doing that when you are forbidden to taste anything or even pause for a sip of water."

Negan finished his food and set the plate off to the side. "And why in the hell would anybody do that?"

Siddiq came closer, feeling a sense of happiness at being able to share his background without judgement. It reminded him of how Rick's son Carl had treated him, how the other boy had saved his life and helped him to honor the memory of his mother when they barely knew each other. As pleasant as the memory was, it was tinged with guilt about what had happened to his would be friend.

"It is meant to take the focus away from oneself so you can focus on studying and growing stronger in your faith."

Negan acknowledged this with a nod, but posed no further questions. Just as Siddiq was about to ask him if he'd like to make use of the shower now, Negan murmured softly, "I was never close with either of my parents.” It seemed there was more to be said but Negan didn't seem like he was about to go on.

Siddiq knew very little about the man who had tried to control them all and it had seemed as though Negan had prefered to keep it that way. Though now, at least he knew something.  

"I'm sorry." Siddiq replied, genuine empathy in his voice.

Negan clenched his jaw and shook his head. "Don't gotta be sorry for shit."

Siddiq tried to keep him talking, but Negan refused and they spent the rest of their encounter in silence.

* * *

 

He was served something the next morning that was considered a treat when food was so hard to come by. Meat. And not the canned kind, the real thing that had been caught and skinned and cooked over a fire.

"What is this?" Negan wondered, picking up a piece with his fork and taking a taste. "Deer?"

"Daryl is very proficient with his bow." Was Siddiq's response. He set his bag down and searched through the supplies stacked up, taking what he needed before stowing it back in the bag.

"Right. The one that fucking traitor Dwight stole." He said nothing else about the matter, knowing it was useless. Siddiq was incredibly hard to goad into an argument. He was simply that calm about things. Negan couldn't help contemplating if he'd always been like that. Staying calm considering the world they lived in was quite the rare talent these days.

As he ate, Negan watched Siddiq moved. There was a certain gracefulness about him. He moved with purpose, not a signal movement wasted. It was interesting to watch and when he reached for something up above him, his shirt rode up, exposing a patch of bronze skin, along with a faint trail of dark hair.

Negan really couldn't help the way he licked his lips. His fingers twitched where they gripped the fork he was eating with and he felt a distinct ache trail through his body. He tried to focus on his food but the feeling of want was strong, how could it not be? He was a man used to getting what he wanted whenever he wanted it and that was usually every few days, maybe even more depending on his mood and what needed to be done that required his attention. But now, now he was alone almost all the time and he couldn't take care of himself even if he wanted to. It was a maddening feeling. He'd thought about it, perhaps when he was in the shower, but the door was always open and Siddiq was supposed to keep a close eye on him.

Though, the idea of Siddiq catching him with a hand on himself was beginning to sound more and more attractive. But how would the other man react to such an advance?

Negan finished his food and set the plate aside, waiting quietly for Siddiq to come to him. It was time for his wound to be checked.

The young doctor came to sit on the edge of the bed, reaching remove the gauze from around his neck. He then reached to carefully probe the slash with fingertips, feeling the muscle to see how it was healing. "How do you feel?"

Negan tried not to relish the touch too much. "It's not so difficult to talk." He admitted, though he continued to keep his voice lower than usual, not wanting to take a chance of fucking something up when he was still healing.

"Good. It feels like what was severed is recovering nicely. I still think you need some more time recovering, it's not completely scarred over yet and I don't want to take the chance of letting go and having it rip open again. We were taking the stitches out not too long ago after all. Do you feel any discomfort when you eat?"

"A little, yes." Negan tried to ignore Siddiq's close proximity, the way his hands were still soft despite the world they lived in now. As the doctor did his examination, Negan took in the planes of his face, his expressive, dark brown eyes, which reminded Negan of the color of fudge, the kind he'd used to get as a kid from the candy store down the block. His hair was equally dark, but he liked the way it seemed to have waves in it. Negan found himself wondering what the scrape of Siddiq's beard would feel like against his skin.

With the train of thought he was on, it wasn't exactly hard to figure why he did what he did next.

When Siddiq lifted his head, he barely had time to register what was happening before Negan had ahold of him. For a brief second, he was sure that this man was going to snap his neck like a tree branch and he was going to die then and there. But one look in Negan's eyes and Siddiq knew that wasn't what he was after.

When their lips crashed together, the sound that Negan made was positively feral, like some sort of wounded animal. He was ravenous, latching onto Siddiq like a lifeline. It took him several moments before he realized the other man wasn't responding to his advances. Once that happened, he pulled back, realizing just exactly what he had done.

For several seconds, neither of them said a word. Negan felt a wave of guilt wash over him. What the fuck was wrong with him? He wasn't supposed to be that type of person, he didn't force people into being with him when they didn't wanna be. And he'd just done exactly that.

"Siddiq, I-" Before Negan could get anything else out, the doctor was getting up and quickly putting his things away and grabbing his bag. Within moments he was knocking on the door and when it opened, he dashed out. Negan winced slightly when it was slammed shut.

It took him a long time before he realized Siddiq had forgotten to tie him back down in his haste.

* * *

 

When the door opened the next day, Negan kept his distance. Siddiq took one look at him and said, "I figured you'd have tried to escape. Not that it would've worked, but I expected you to try nonetheless."

Negan was quiet a moment before answering, "I'm supposed to be here. Trying to escape won't get me a damn thing except dead and as much as everybody else hates it, I fucking like being alive."

Siddiq sized him up before moving to give him his breakfast, though he seemed a lot more hesitant than normal.

Instead of eating like he usually did, Negan set the food aside. "We need to talk."

"I'm not sure I want to hear what you have to say." That was the first slightly angry thing Siddiq had ever said to him.

"I deserve that. I really fucking deserve that. But you also deserve an apology. I shouldn't have acted like that yesterday. I don't do that, I'm not fucking like that. You didn't want it and I should've respected that shit. It was wrong of me not to, and I'm sorry. Just because I'm fucking horny as shit doesn't give me an excuse."

Siddiq watched him for any sign of dishonesty. He found none. He bit his lip, part of him wanting to stay upset but finding that he couldn't. It wasn't in him to hold a grudge, he wasn't that type of person. As soon as Negan apologized, all the anger seemed to seep right from his body. "Okay...Uh, thank you. Your apology is accepted."

"It won't happen again, you have my word." Only when he felt the air was clear between them did Negan begin to eat.

Afterward Siddiq examined his neck again, he quietly rewrapped it without incident so Negan could use the shower.

The shower itself was small, barely big enough to fit the stall, the toilet and a small sink. Negan himself could easily touch the ceiling and took up much of the space while he was in there. But at least they were giving this to him, it was humane treatment he hadn't expected.

Usually, while Negan went about his business, the door was kept open. Negan figured this was a rule that someone else had imposed on Siddiq, because he never acted like he'd been guarding the door whenever Negan emerged. But this time, when Negan stepped inside, the door was closed firmly behind him. He decided not to question it, he would give the other man his space if he so desired.

Silently, Negan undressed before ducking into the shower. The warm water was a relief on his skin. He did this as often as Siddiq allowed him. He felt disgusting after a few days, laying around in his own grime. The only stipulation was that he couldn't take forever, the water only went so far and if he used more than his fair share, he knew he would be punished for it somehow.

As he washed, his mind wandered again. He knew he'd just promised he wouldn't come on to Siddiq again, but could he really be penalized for what went on inside his own head?

So he let himself fantasize, imagining tan skin underneath his hands, beautiful brown eyes closed in bliss as they both explored each other. Soon his breath was coming in soft pants, a deep ache spreading throughout his chest. He had to touch himself, he couldn't hold back any longer.

Finally, finally getting a hand on himself felt like a revelation.

But as much as he wanted to take his time and draw out his orgasm, he knew that wasn't going to happen. He wasn't even sure he could last that long he was so sensitive. His hips were already bucking into his fist and with every move, the sounds he was making grew louder and more pronounced.

Negan was so caught up in himself, he didn't notice when the bathroom door opened just a crack.

He braced one hand against the wall in front of him, head hanging low as he worked his other hand. His cock was positively flushed red, slick and slippery from the precome and the water. In the back of his mind he knew he was being loud, that he was grunting and moaning like a two bit whore, but he just couldn't bring himself to care all that much, it felt too damn good. He needed more though, just a little more, he was so close. Bracing himself using his shoulder, he used his now-free hand to reach between his legs and brush his fingertips over his hole.

That was all it took. An obscene whine left his lips as he spilled all over his hand, not slowing down until he milked himself of every last drop.

It was several long moments before he had settled down enough to clean up and turn off the water. He stepped out with a bit of an steady gait and dressed slowly. When he came back out of the bathroom, he only had time to briefly note that the door was open before he locked eyes with Siddiq.

Negan blinked, a little perplexed by the fact that the kid was standing so close, only to realize why exactly he had been standing so close in the first place.

It was clear he'd been listening. Those big brown eyes were blown wide and Negan couldn't help noticing the bulge that sure hadn't been there before he'd gone into the shower.

A small, knowing smile spread over Negan's lips. "Now, if you were fucking interested, all you had to do was say so instead of playing peep show, not that I mind one fucking bit because I am sure as fuck interested in you."

Saddiq looked like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming truck. He was clearly conflicted, a mix of emotions washing over his face all at once. He visibly swallowed and for a moment, Negan thought something great was going to happen.

Instead, Siddiq did the only thing he knew how to do in this situation, and that was run without looking back.

* * *

 

Siddiq didn't come at his usual time the next day and Negan felt like he was going to crawl out of his own skin. He swore he'd read the situation as Siddiq wanting him in the same sort of way. But if he did, then why did the kid keep running away from him at every turn? Negan was aware he came on kinda strong, but he did that so whoever he was interested in clearly got the message. He worried that this tactic had scared the young doctor off for good.

It was later in the evening when the door finally opened. Negan had dozed off in his bed, but he stirred when he heard someone enter the room. He expected a different doctor, maybe even Rick himself, come to scold him for his inappropriate behavior like the strong leader he was supposed to be. But it wasn't either of those. Siddiq had returned. Negan observed him through one eye before closing it and turning over in the bed to face away.

"Look, if you're here to berate me or condemn me or whatever the fuck, then go ahead and do it, I can't fucking change the way I am and I fucking understand if you don't like me. That's your fucking right as a person, so feel free to fucking exercise it."

"I didn't come back to yell at you. I mean, you are crass and obnoxious, but you're also honest. You call things the way you see them."

"You got that fucking right." Negan agreed. He shifted and sat up, running a hand through his hair.

Siddiq stood by the door, fidgeting and refusing to look at Negan straight on for more than a few seconds at a time.

"What's on your mind, kid? Obviously you wouldn't have come back if you didn't have something to say to me."

Siddiq bit his lip. "You think I'm homophobic, don't you?"

Negan raised an eyebrow. "I never said that. Honestly? I don't know how you fucking feel, you haven't said a goddamn word about what you feel."

"Oh." Siddiq came closer at that, eyes trained down at his hands. "Well I'm not. I've never believed that the way I feel is wrong. I just..I never wanted to disappoint my parents. They were good people, I wanted them to be proud of me. So I never mentioned it. And it's not that I don't like girls, I do, it's just..I like..I like.." Siddiq closed his eyes, unable to get himself to say the word.

"It's alright, I get it, kid, trust me, I do. For me, if I'm into you, I don't much give a fuck about your gender.” His hands clenched and unclenched at his sides. "Just be glad no one’s ever come after you for who you are, especially your family." He let out a deep breath through his nose.

Siddiq finally looked up before slowly coming to sit down on the edge of the bed. Negan watched him quietly, giving the younger of the two a chance to do or say whatever he felt the need to. It was clear he couldn't treat Siddiq like he'd treated others, this kid needed a gentle hand or else he'd go running again.

Negan didn't expect the hand that was placed over his on the bed, or the shy way Siddiq kept looking at him. But when he moved closer, close enough that Negan could see the little flecks of gold in his eyes, the soft kiss that followed made his breath catch in his throat.

When Siddiq pulled away soon after, still unable to meet Negan's eyes, the prisoner inquired softly, "You've never done anything like this, have you?" He got a shake of the head in return. Negan turned his hand over then, so he could squeeze Siddiq's. He was treading lightly, reeling in his urge to simply pounce on the kid.

"I can show you." Negan promised, leaning to kiss along his stubbled jaw, feeling the other man shiver beneath his touch. He nipped at his ear, using his other hand to trail down Siddiq's arm. "I would fucking love to show you, to make you feel damn good."

Siddiq didn't say anything at first, his eyes fallen closed as he took in the feeling of Negan's skin against his own. Every touch felt so new, so raw, it was exhilarating. But it was also a bit frightening. He really was out of his element. That didn't stop him from wanting though, despite the fact that he feared his parents finding out, even if they were no longer living. But did they not love him? That had been apparent above all else, so perhaps they would try and understand.

He swallowed around the lump that had formed in his throat. "I want to. I want you." He murmured, voice barely above a whisper. "But..you're going to have to go easy on me."

Negan couldn't stop the way he grinned at that. "Of fucking course, sweetheart. My biggest concern is making sure you feel fan-fucking-tastic and that you're comfortable as shit."

Siddiq seemed to ease a little at that. His eyes opened and for the first time that day he looked directly into Negan's eyes. "What would you like me to do first?"

Negan chuckled at that. "Not a damn thing, sugar. You let me do the work, okay? I'm gonna take good fucking care of you."

He shifted, using both hands to cup Siddiq's face as he kissed him. This time he got a response, hesitant at first but slowly growing more and more confident. And then the kid started to moan, soft and sweet, low in his throat and Negan swore he was going to lose it right then and there.

He moved on to Siddiq's neck next, placing kisses that quickly turned into licks and gentle bites. Negan kept Siddiq pressed close the whole time, arms wrapped around him. He didn't seem to mind, openly shuddering when things felt particularly good.

"Can I take off your shirt?" Negan asked, only slipping the fabric over Siddiq's head when he was given permission. Negan practically purred at the sight that was waiting for him. Siddiq was golden all over, with a sparse covering of dark hair on his chest and trailing down his belly where it disappeared into his pants. He was absolutely beautiful and Negan didn't even have him completely naked yet. Negan immediately stroked his hands down the other man's body, feeling like he'd just won the lottery. Siddiq, for his part, was blushing faintly at all the attention he was receiving.

"Lay down for me?" Negan requested, allowing Siddiq to move from his arms. He obliged, moving to lay back on the bed that Negan had spent most of the last several weeks on. He kind of liked that thought, the idea that he was in Negan's bed. He watched the way Negan eyed him, like he was some sort of holy grail. It was a nice feeling, to be so desirable in someone else's eyes.

"I am so gonna suck your dick until you can't fucking think straight." Negan declared without a hint of shame as he proceeded to crawl his way up Siddiq's body so he could catch his lips in another searing kiss.

Hesitant hands slipped beneath Negan's shirt, gently stroking and exploring everywhere he could reach. Negan encouraged him, taking off the simple white shirt he was wearing so Siddiq could touch more of him.

"Such a good boy." Negan hummed, sucking several marks onto Siddiq's neck. He felt a wave of triumph every time the kid moaned, knowing he was most likely the first person to ever hear him like this. He ground his hips down, loving the way Siddiq's hips jerked up when their clothed cocks brushed. Negan didn't have to look down to see that the front of his sweats already had a stain on them from where his cock was leaking.

"Can I-Can.." Siddiq's words ran together, like he was having trouble stringing a coherent thought together. So instead of asking, he let his hands drift lower, hoping Negan would get the message.

"Oh fuck yeah, sweetheart. You wanna touch my dick, you sure as fuck don't gotta ask." Negan shifted forward, grinning when Siddiq's hand slipped over the obvious bulge. He could see how nervous he was, so much so that there was a slight shake to his hand. Negan pressed a kiss to his lips, pushing the fabric down to reveal his swollen manhood. He heard Siddiq's breath catch and his hand stilled, unsure of what to do.

"Fucking magnificent, isn't it? Well you don't gotta be fucking afraid of it." He reached to take the kid's hand, guiding it to wrap around his cock. Negan let out a pleased exhale, carefully beginning to stroke, showing Siddiq just how to do it. He loved the fact that whenever he shifted, he could feel Siddiq's own hardness pressing against him.

The slick sound of skin on skin filled the room, precome dripping onto Siddiq's stomach. Almost without thinking, the younger man reached down to gather up the moisture and bring it to his lips to taste. Negan groaned loudly, "Fucking taste good, don't I? You can have the whole thing if you want, but only if I get you in my mouth first."

Negan quickly slipped out of the rest of his clothes, hands then going to Siddiq's pants. "You ready for this, kid?"

Siddiq was panting heavily by now, a sheen of sweat covering his body. But he didn't look as frightened as he had before, instead Negan could tell how turned on he was by all this. He nodded, signaling that he wanted to continue.

Negan didn't hesitate, undoing the belt before pulling down his pants and boxers. What he came to behold made his mouth water in the most obscene way. "Fucking shit, look at you." He purred, eagerly taking hold of Siddiq's swollen dick. Though it wasn't quite as thick, it was almost as long and Negan wanted nothing more than to milk it dry right then and there. He licked his lips, running a thumb over the head, spreading the other man's slick. Siddiq shivered, hips bucking into the touch.

"Come on, sweetheart," Negan encouraged, "let me hear you." He leaned in, sucking the head into his mouth. He licked under the crown and teased the slit, thinking of what he liked to feel. He got a response at that, at first just a soft moan that gradually grew louder the more of him Negan took down his throat. He'd never been touched this way by anyone, and it was all so electrifying. His toes curled and he whined, feeling Negan's teeth scrape gently over sensitive skin.

Negan's cock twitched against the sheets, the pressure and the taste turning him on even more. He hollowed out his cheeks, the sounds coming from his mouth wet and dirty. He loved it, loved every second, loved the taste and the feeling on his tongue. He couldn't help the way he began to rut against the bed.

"Ne-Negan.." It was the first word Siddiq had managed. A shaky hand went to the other man's hair, combing through it as his mouth worked. "If-If you do not stop.." He warned, tugging lightly, "I-I'm..I will.."

Negan pulled back, so just the head rested on his tongue while his hand stroked over the shaft. "Come on, sugar, fucking cum in my mouth."

 

The sound of absolute pleasure that left Siddiq was almost enough to make Negan cum all the over the sheets. As it was, his cock gave a thick spurt of precome at the sound, continuing to leak he tasted Siddiq and swallowed every bit of spunk he had to give.

 

Negan was a gentleman and cleaned up Siddiq with his tongue, watching the boy shiver at the overstimulation.

 

“Was that good for you, sweetheart?” He asked, hands stroking Siddiq’s gently quivering thighs. All his partner could manage was a shaky nod as he panted, still coming down from his high.

 

Negan allowed him some time, remembering how it was the first time he’d had somebody suck his dick like a champ. It was a damn revelation and it took a moment for you to come back to yourself.

 

Soon though, Siddiq stirred, gazing at Negan through lidded eyes. “What would you have me do now?”

 

“Well, you were the one who wanted to suck my cock. Still interested in that?”

 

Siddiq was already pushing himself up in sitting a sitting position. “Yes,” He answered, eyes already locked on Negan’s stiff manhood.

 

Negan was more than happy to oblige, quickly switching places with Siddiq so he was settled against the headboard and the boy was between his legs.

 

Siddiq didn’t seem so timid about touching anymore, taking Negan’s cock in his hand and stroking slowly. “Will you show me how to do this right? How to make you feel good?”

 

“Of course I fucking will. I promised, didn’t I? Ain’t that hard, pun definitely fucking intended.” Negan reached to run a hand through Siddiq’s hair. “You’ve got such a pretty mouth too. Go ahead, go in for a taste, sweet boy.”

 

Siddiq did as he was told, ducking down drag his tongue over the head. Negan hummed softly in approval when he took in a few inches, sucking gently. “Good boy, just like that. Don’t force it. Take what you can, use your hand on the rest.”

 

It turned out Siddiq was a good student, picking up the technique easily. Soon he was working Negan’s thick cock like he’d done this his whole life, moaning sweetly at the taste. He found himself liking the way Negan groaned openly and without shame, even going as far as to toy with his own nipples. But he became so engrossed in his task, that he didn’t even notice when Negan leaned forward, not until he felt fingertips pressing between his cheeks. He jerked in surprise, the sensation foreign and unfamiliar. He pulled back, panting heavily.

 

“Take it easy, kid, I know what I’m doing, I won’t hurt you.” Negan sighed when he was giving a look that wasn’t exactly filled with trust. “I know, I fucking know, it feels fucking weird as fuck but trust me, you gotta get used to it. Would it fucking help if I told you what I was gonna do before I did it?”

 

Siddiq swallowed, the tip of Negan’s cock brushing his chin. “That would be helpful, yes.”

 

“Alright, I can do that. But how about we change it up a little?” Negan shifted more to the right side of the bed before patting the space next to him. “Come lay down beside me. Yeah, just like that, sweetheart.” Siddiq had settled down on his side next to Negan, facing away from him. The older man came up behind him, stroking his bronze skin with a careful reverence. “God, fucking fuck, you are just fucking perfect.” He kissed Siddiq’s neck, wanting to make sure he was still relaxed as they continued. His hand stroked down Siddiq’s hip and he inhaled the young doctor’s scent. “Nobody’s ever saw you this way either, have they? Nobody’s ever saw you as something...beautiful.”

 

He received a soft laugh in response. “No, not exactly.” Siddiq could remember having a few female admirers, mostly girls who were also seeking out their medical degree. But if he ever caught the eye of a man, he never knew about it. And he certainly had never been touched this way, yes in a sexual way, but he’d also never been touched like he was something special, something precious. He never would’ve figured Negan to touch him like this. But it wasn’t entirely unwelcome. Siddiq found himself enjoying the attention.

 

As Negan’s hand drifted lower, something occurred to Siddiq. “Wait,” He moved, leaning off the bed to dig around in his discarded doctor’s pack. He found what he wanted and proceeded to hand it to Negan.

 

“Well, aren’t we just fucking full of surprises?” Negan was grinning, Siddiq didn’t have to see it, he could hear it in his voice. “But thank you for coming prepared,” he mused as he looked down at the half full bottle of lube.

 

“I am not completely naive about these things.” Siddiq shifted, pressing himself back against Negan, increasingly craving the feeling of skin on skin. Negan seemed to understand this, pulling the younger man flush against him.

 

“I underestimated you a little, that was my mistake. I won’t do it again.” Negan left a hickey on his shoulder, leaving it low enough that his shirt would hide it. As he did, he opened the bottle and gathered some of the lube on his fingers.

 

“I’m going to go slow, yeah? Let you get used to it. If you don’t like it, if you hurt at all, you fucking say so. I am not gonna fucking force you or get off on hurting you. Okay?”

 

Siddiq nodded, hesitating a moment before tilting his head back, searching for a kiss. Negan was more than happy to give it to him, latching their mouths together as he pressed his slick fingers against Siddiq’s entrance. The boy beneath him let out a soft gasp against his lips, body reacting to the foreign touch.

 

“That’s it, sweetheart…” He purred as he slowly inserted a finger, “just fucking like that, gotta be all nice and fucking relaxed.” He stopped after he got the second knuckle, giving the inexperienced one of them time to adjust before sinking the digit all the way.

 

By now, Siddiq’s breath was coming in stunted pants, sweat beading on his chest and forehead. One hand fisted the sheets, the other gripped Negan’s forearm. The feeling of something inside him was nothing like he expected and he was grateful that Negan was giving him a chance to get used to it before he continued.

 

When a second finger was added, Siddiq moaned softly, eyes falling closed again. He didn’t seem to be any distress and Negan was glad, hated hearing how people treated their partners when they weren’t as experienced. He didn’t need to take advantage of Siddiq to make himself feel good. “How are you doing there, kid?” His lips brushed the shell of the other man’s ear.

 

The grip on Negan’s forearm tightened as the fingers slowly began to move, slickly sliding out and then back in. “G-Good...it’s-you’re...you do know what you’re doing…”

 

“Yeah? And I haven’t even gotten to the best fucking part yet, sweetheart. Well, the best part besides my cock, that is.” Negan tried twisting his fingers in different in areas, knowing what he was looking for shouldn’t be too hard to find. When Siddiq jolted as though he’d been struck and his cock blurted out a large pearl of precome, he knew he’d gotten what he was looking for. Siddiq nearly whined, having never felt something so strong before.

 

Negan chuckled deep in his ear, breath against the nape of his neck, causing goosebumps to break out. “You’re a doctor kid, tell me what that was.”

 

“M-My prostate. I didn’t think it would be…”

 

“That good? Just wait until it’s my cock brushing the sweet, sweet spot. I’m gonna have you fucking seeing stars. And don’t let anybody tell you that  guys aren’t supposed to be fucking. To me, if I wasn’t supposed to be taking dick, then why does that feel so fucking good?” He went back to fucking Siddiq on two fingers that quickly turned into three. The longer he did it, the more his partner reacted, beginning to move in time with Negan’s motions, the sweetest, prettiest, most delicious little moans leaving his mouth. He also grew increasingly restless, clearly wanting more than just a few fingers inside him.

 

“You fucking want it, don’t you? You want to be filled up, stuffed, fucking completed. God, you want me to fucking breed you, don’t you?” Negan’s voice was a deep, velvet growl in Siddiq’s ear, every obscene word sending chills down his spine. He found himself nodding along.

 

“Yes, I want it, I want you.” Siddiq turned himself so he could get another kiss. He swallowed thickly, eyes dark with lust. “Fuck me,” He breathed against Negan’s lips, “please. Make me forget everything except your dick.” Siddiq’s cheeks colored slightly at the last word, not used to speaking with vulgar language.

 

Negan grinned, prodding that sweet spot one last time before he pulled his fingers out. “How do you want it, sugar? On your back? On your belly? Fucking tell me.”

 

Siddiq ducked his head, his shyness returning. “I...I want to see your face.” He didn’t know why he wanted that, perhaps because he didn’t want the whole thing to seem so impersonal, despite the fact of who he was sleeping with.

 

Negan didn’t seem put off by that idea. “If that’s what you want, then fuck, that’s what you’ll have.” It easy enough to coax Siddiq to lie back down so he could kneel between his spread legs. He reached to stroke down Siddiq’s thighs, seeing that he was starting to get anxious again. “You gotta relax, sweetheart. You really are just gonna make it harder on yourself if you don’t.” He ground his hips forward, letting their cocks brush, hoping to distract his partner from the worry going on inside his head.

 

Siddiq whined softly, bucking into the touch. He inhaled deeply, taking a moment to try and calm himself. It seemed to work as his breathing slowed and his grip on the sheets lessened.

 

Negan took that as his queue to continue, reaching to slick his cock with a generous portion of lube. He licked his lips, letting the head of his dick tease the tightness that awaited him. Siddiq squirmed, body reacting each time. “Please…” He groaned, trying to press down every time Negan got close, “Please, fuck me. I wanna feel you.”

 

“You’re so fucking polite, kid, even when I’m about to rail you.” Negan leaned up to kiss Siddiq, one hand touching his stubbled cheek as he shifted forward, groaning when Siddiq’s tight heat.

 

A choked off sound came from the man beneath him, his eyes squeezing shut. Negan stilled once he could go no further, stroking Siddiq’s cheek gently, knowing he would respond better to a touch like that. “How are you doing, sugar?”

 

“I-I’m okay…” He shifted and squirmed, muscles clamping down as he got used to this new feeling. “Fuck,” he moaned, “you’re fucking big…”

 

It pleased Negan greatly that the longer they were together, the more Siddiq began to swear and curse. “Yeah, baby, yeah I certainly fucking am. But I bet you fucking like that, don’t you?”

 

He received a shaky nod in return. Between them, Siddiq’s trapped cock was oozing again, slicking up both their bellies with precome. “You want me to move, sweetheart? Want me to fuck that perfect ass of yours?”

 

Siddiq’s response was a deep moan, followed by an attempt to bury Negan deeper inside him. “Fuck me, come on, show me how good it feels.” His voice came out hoarse and thick with lust and when he opened his eyes, they reflected the same emotion.

 

“Oh fuck yes,” came Negan’s growled reply as he immediately pulled back before snapping his hips forward again, jolting both of them along with the bed beneath them. Siddiq moaned sweetly again, beautiful brown eyes fluttering shut once more as he held on for the ride.

 

Negan made sure Siddiq was comfortable before he went too quickly, but when he saw that the younger man wanted whatever he had to dish out, he stopped holding back. He leaned over the other, leveraging himself so he could fuck hard and fast. The sound reverberated throughout the room and he was pretty sure they could be heard outside but if Siddiq didn’t give a fuck, he sure as hell didn’t.

 

Negan watched, enraptured by the handsome man beneath him. The way Siddiq’s pink bitten lips parted softly as he moaned, the way his hair had become delightfully messy, the way he began to lift himself to meet every thrust, and the delicious way his nipples had grown into hard peaks from the pleasure of it all. He was absolutely gorgeous and Negan couldn’t resist the urge to lean down and kiss him. Siddiq returned the gesture in kind, surprising Negan when he reached to lock his arms around Negan’s neck, bringing them closer. His legs did the same, secured around his waist. They moved together like this, as though they had suddenly become one person. Negan buried his face in Siddiq’s neck, kissing and licking and biting, long since past caring if he left marks others could see.

 

“Such a good boy…” He purred, grinning to himself as he hit that sweet spot again, listening to Siddiq’s moans grow louder and more intense.

 

“I’m gonna make you cum again, sweet boy. I’m gonna make sure you get both of us wet and fucking covered in it. Then I’m gonna breed you, cum inside you, fill up to the fucking brim. Is that what you want?” Negan’s voice oozed sex and lust and he wanted so bad to hear this beautiful boy beg for it.

 

Siddiq sought his mouth, relishing in another kiss. “Yes,” He murmured, leaning up so he could breathe the words into Negan’s ear, “I already have your cock, now I want your cum too, every last drop. I want to…” He seemed to be searching for the correct phrase, “I want to fucking _leak_ with it.”

 

Negan grinned wickedly, leaning to leave a large hickey on Siddiq’s neck, pushing himself to snap his hips quicker, fuck the other man harder. The bed shook and squeaked beneath them and in the back of his mind Negan hoped it wouldn’t decide to break. The noise would surely bring someone to bust down the door and he would undoubtedly be blamed for everything that had gone on.

 

Siddiq’s thighs trembled as they held fast to Negan, his cock having long since turned a dark red color, straining between them, dribbling a steady stream of precome. Negan turned his hips every few thrusts, searching for the exact angle again, wanting to have Siddiq screaming his name.

 

He soon got his wish, as his cock found Siddiq’s prostate and the younger man immediately jolted, a moan that sounded almost feral leaving his lips. “Right there, please don’t stop,” He gasped out, pressing himself down, trying to get Negan as deep as possible.

 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I got ya.” Negan made sure to focus all his thrusts in that direction, desperately wanting to see if he could get Siddiq to cum without even a hand on his cock.

 

Every thrust was punctuated with a cry from Siddiq, who held onto Negan like he was an anchor in a storm. He was rapidly nearing his end, the pleasure beginning to become overwhelming. He hid his face in Negan’s neck, trying not to be so loud but soon realizing it was a useless endeavor.

 

“Don’t try to hold it in, sugar. You sure as fuck don’t have to do that with me.” Negan kissed Siddiq’s cheek and the side of his neck.

 

This seemed to motivate Siddiq to pull back, enough that his eyes locked with Negan’s. He groaned deeply, nails digging into the other man’s back. He held onto Negan tighter and tighter, breathing soon becoming erratic. He bit down hard on his lip and whined. “I-I can’t...I-I’m…” He couldn’t manage anything more, eyes squeezing shut.

 

Fortunately, Negan was never without something to say. “Go on, sweetheart. I fucking know you wanna cum and fuck, I wanna see you cum.”

 

It took exactly three more hard thrusts before Siddiq could hold on no longer, his whole body shuddering as he came undone. Negan was not disappointed as they were soon both painted with white, enough that several droplets landed on Siddiq’s chin. The sound that he made while he clamped down on Negan’s cock was utterly sinful. It was no wonder Negan soon followed, pumping the younger man full of his essence, so much so that some of it escaped, dribbling down tanned skin, fulfilling Siddiq’s wish.

 

Negan lowered Siddiq back to the bed and they quietly released each other. Negan didn’t miss the soft noise of complaint that Siddiq made when he pulled out but he didn’t call him out on it either. Instead he settled down next to him on the bed, which basically meant they were squished together whether they wanted to be or not. It was only a twin after all.

 

Negan didn’t mind, letting the other man press into him. He wrapped his arm around Siddiq’s shoulders and Siddiq let his head rest on Negan’s chest.

 

For a long while they simply laid together, catching their breath and allowing their hearts to slow back to normal. It was right about now that Negan wished he had a cigarette. He doubted Siddiq would get him one if he asked too, being a do good doctor and all.

 

Siddiq interrupted his thoughts before he could think of asking.

 

“What did you mean before? When you said that I should be glad no one’s ever come after me for who I am, especially my family?”

 

Negan immediately stiffened, his nicotine related needs forgotten. He regretted saying something like that, though it had been hard not to, considering what they’d been talking about. He debated between refusing to answer, lying, or just fucking everything and telling the truth. Maybe Siddiq would be able to understand.

 

Something, perhaps the same something that allowed him to live when everyone was screaming for him to choke on his own blood while they all watched him perish, urged him to tell the truth.

 

For once, he listened.

 

“My old man didn’t take to kindly to me when I was caught with another boy in high school. His name was John and I made sure that not a fucking thing came down on him, it was enough for one of us to take the bullet. I was sure he would’ve gotten it just as bad if not worse than what I got too.” Negan’s fist clenched at his side and his lip twitched. “First, he beat the living shit out of me. Which, I guess wasn’t all that new. But then he made sure I spent the next two months in the church, saying Hail Marys on my goddamn knees in front of the local priest, which is fucking ironic in hindsight. If I didn’t do it to his liking, he was given permission to beat me, which you can be sure he did and in kind.” Negan’s expression revealed the anger that boiled beneath the surface. “By the end of it I was bruised and must’ve had broken bones that were never treated. I vowed after that that I wouldn’t let anybody treat me like simply because of who I found attractive. I left home a few months later.”

 

Siddiq didn’t say anything at first. He simply listened and allowed Negan to tell his story. When he finished, he understood why Negan had been reluctant to say more. When he finished, Siddiq gave him a few moments to collect himself. He moved then, turning onto his side so he could see Negan better.

 

“I know you of all people do not want my pity and that is not what I feel. But I do feel sorry. That should have never happened to you. Though I never experienced prejudice of that sort, I did encounter people who disliked my family and I for the religion we practiced and for our skin color. And any sort of hate like that leaves a wound. I understand why you left your home. I understand the anger you still feel, even after so long. I hope that things got better, easier after you moved on.”

 

Negan’s anger deflated, as he’d long since learned to quell the emotions from that part of his past. The same couldn’t said for all the things he’d experienced. “They did, in a sense. I did what I wanted, when I wanted. As I got older, I distanced myself from people who refused to accept me. I married a woman who accepted me like nobody else and I still treated her like shit. If I have any regrets, that’s the biggest one.” He grit his teeth and shook his head. He hated this, hated baring his soul. It never did him any good, even if Siddiq’s kind words were better than some of the reactions he’d gotten in the past. He decided he was done sharing. Siddiq didn’t push him any further.

 

Siddiq knew he should care little about this man or what he’d been through. After the things the others had told him that Negan had done and the things he’d seen for himself, Negan deserved no sympathy from anyone. But Siddiq had already failed in that respect, considering what they’d already done. He also couldn’t find it in his heart to hate Negan the way everyone else. He wasn’t sure he could hate anyone really, even if they deserved it. It wasn’t in his nature. It wasn’t as though he thought the man was perfect and deserved to go free. But perhaps he wasn’t totally what everyone made him out to be. Siddiq didn’t see how he could simply be a bloodthirsty psychopath when he’d treated Siddiq with such care. If anything, Siddiq thought that he may understand the man beside a bit more than he did when he was first brought to the infirmary.

 

Siddiq moved closer, saying nothing and instead pressed several kisses up Negan’s neck and over his stubble covered jaw, trying to convey his understanding and acceptance of all that Negan had admitted. It seemed to work, as the tension in Negan’s body slowly seeped away.

 

“You better get what you can while you can, kid.” He murmured softly, an almost melancholy note to his voice. “Who knows what kind of shit hole they’re going to throw me into once you’re sure I’m all healed up.”

 

Siddiq wasn’t about to act like he didn’t know that or that Negan didn’t deserve it. “I know very well what awaits you. But you’re right, I’m going to get what I can while I can. And when it comes time, don’t think I’ll be so quick to abandon you. I’m sure I will see you again afterward. That is, if you would even want to see me.” He was not going to act like they were star crossed lovers either and that this was some kind of love story that would’ve played out on a theater screen.

 

Still, Negan both surprised and pleased Siddiq when he responded with, “I’d like that.”

 

Maybe it was the promise of more sex. Maybe it was something else. Siddiq didn’t know. But he did know that if the path he was destined to take would include this man, then he would walk that path as was intended and without fear. 


End file.
